


Licking Love off Knives As Wild Beasts Do

by Twilight_Shadow_Songs



Series: Sweet Sweet Oblivion [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Teen Titans - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bruce and Barry are the fake dating, Cute, Fake Dating, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, My AU my rules, PTSD, Sequel, Think Piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:34:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22950301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilight_Shadow_Songs/pseuds/Twilight_Shadow_Songs
Summary: No matter how far you run or how much you avoid it, the past still finds you.Barry and Cisco know they both have pasts. It's overcoming said pasts that is the thing of it. Though really "He knows the skeletons in my closet and he hangs clothes in it anyway" is a fairly accurate breakdown of how they deal. Nobody's perfect, but imperfections still hurt.Cisco knows, and he knows, and he knows. He welcomes it, too, as much as he fears it.Time marches on, though, and children have children of their own, and somehow despite all that is still cruel, all is still well.
Relationships: Barry Quinzel/Bruce Wayne, Barry Quinzel/Cisco Ramon, Bart Allen/Jinx
Series: Sweet Sweet Oblivion [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1646461
Comments: 20
Kudos: 2





	1. Memories are like Butterfly Ash

Generally speaking, when it came to Barry’s life Cisco let the man do what he wanted. A bit cat-like, Barry always came back home. Came back to  _ Cisco _ . Occasionally with some new kid or person who needed help. Barry wandered in every sense but romantically or sexually. 

But this wasn’t generally.  _ This _ ? This was Barry draping himself over another alter ego of Bruce Wayne to pose as bait, because someone wanted to hurt Cisco and were going through his loved ones. 

First it had been Jinx, the kid that had showed up for dinner once because she knew Barry and then Cisco had adopted her after forty minutes so she never left. Then Jason, which was why Bruce was involved because for all their rocky relationship he still cared for Jason as a son. The final straw was Cisco’s sister. She’d only gotten some bruises but still. This was Cisco’s fault. 

So while Cisco was still involved, posing as bait himself, Barry had put himself out there. While he’d asked first and Cisco had given the okay, it still bothered Cisco. And it bothered him only because there were certain things that made Barry uncomfortable, and an overly possessive romantic interest definitely fit the bill. 

“Matches Malone” definitely being one. There was also the added trauma of Matches really being Bruce Wayne, AKA Batman, and Barry having to pretend he wasn’t fully aware the man he was wrapping himself around was also the same man his ex wanted to sleep with, maim, torture, and eventually kill. Every time they finished one of the (scripted, planned,  _ rehearsed _ , confrontations, Barry was often shaking like a fucking leaf. 

The plan went like this;

Cisco’s friends and loved ones were being attacked, but only when there was a particular moment of Cisco being there for them. Matches threatening to take over Cisco’s club and taking Barry as an insurance policy definitely matched the scale of the others. Barry had suggested it, Cisco agreed.

Cisco was fairly sure too, that not even Barry had predicted the raw panic he’d feel. Though, horribly, Cisco had to admit his anxiety made the play act more real. 

Jason wasn’t exactly thrilled, either. Jason was almost more protective of his adoptive father than anyone else. While grateful, he’d never quite forgiven Barry for making a deal with Morningstar and Constantine for Jason’s safety. The self sacrificing attitude worried Jason, he’d said so on several instances. 

The morning brought about the usual quiet gripes as Barry and Cisco went over the general plans and made breakfast. It came to a bit of a breaking point when Jason held the jam hostage. 

“End it. This isn't the way we should do this. Go hide. I’m not going to say it twice.”

“No,” Barry said dryly as he made another attempt to get the jar from Jason. “You’ll say it about fifty times a day without saying it directly to me.” Jason glared at him. 

“Barry, Cisco can take care of himself.” 

Barry grabbed Jason’s hand. “Believe me, I’m aware everyone is capable of holding their own.” He stared at the bruises on Jason’s face, and his broken arm. “And I wouldn’t have gotten involved but this has turned into a revenge case. The fucker hurt my kids. So I’m playing bait until they are close enough for me to hurt them.”

Jason paused, searching Barry’s face. Cisco looked between them and sighed. 

“Jason, he came to  _ me _ with this plan. And don’t say a word, I wouldn’t have let him try to protect me. Plus I want to punch someone for hurting you and Jinx, too.” He gave a wry little smile. “I manipulate the vibrations of the fabric of reality, there’s not much he could do to protect me anyway. I can hold my own and if I can’t we’re all fucked anyway.”

Jason sighed and offered the jar to Barry. “...you don’t need to. Either of you. Get revenge for me.” He muttered, though a smile kept trying to break through. Barry laughed a little. 

“You’re  _ my kid _ . I’d only  _ protect you _ from something or someone you can’t tackle alone. As it stands I just wanna talk to the fuck. and by talk I mean break their nose for using you to hurt Cisco.” He offered Jason a small plate of toast. “Take that to Jinx and Barbara, please?” 

The moment Jason did (while looking rightfully suspicious of being essentially kicked out of their kitchen), Barry sank into a chair. Generally it was difficult for Cisco to tell if Barry was pale or not given he was the color of paper on a normal day. But right now he was the color of wet cement and that definitely wasn’t a healthy look. 

Cisco went to him, cradling his head in his hands as he knelt to be on his level. 

“I can bring him to you to punch,  _ novio _ , this is making you sick.”

Barry smiled softly, eyes dropping closed as he rubbed his cheek against one of Cisco’s palms. 

“I can keep going. Two weeks, maybe a month. If nothing happens then I’ll stop and we’ll think of something else.”

“You promise?”

Barry opened his eyes and looked at Cisco, gently tender but serious. 

  
  


“I know enough about myself now to know if I’m scaring people then I need to stop. And I’ll stop. I promise. A month more at most.”

“If it gets worse you’ll tell me?”

Barry pressed his forehead to Cisco’s.

“Yes.”

~*~

“Listen Ramon, I can’t believe you got caught up with a mafioso and didn’t think this wasn’t going to backfire on you spectacuarly.”

“To my credit, Ollie, I had no idea who John was biting. Only that he bit someone sexually harrassing one of my waitresses and I seriously am not complaining about my hyena protecting someone I’ve trained him to protect.” he paused, glancing over at “Matches” and Barry. “John did what he was supposed to. But since I’m refusing to put him down, we’re...in a bind.” he grit his teeth. The person John “bit” (more like teethed on a hand holding his favorite turkey jerky he wasn’t normally allowed) was actually Nightwing under an assumed identity, and while Cisco would never in a thousand eons be able to pay everyone back for helping him, he was also rather bitter that of all the plans it had to be this one. Ollie knew the plan, this was just another aspect of it. 

Cisco watched Barry, and sighed very softly. “Hey lover boy, you jealous?”

Cisco raised an eyebrow at Oliver Queen. “Really? You think I’m jealous? Barry can have whoever he wants, we have an agreement. I’m concerned.” this was all true. 

“You’re okay when your sister’s with me.”

“My sister could rip the flesh from your bones with her voice if she wanted, Ollie. If anything I’m worried for  _ you _ , but that’s different. That’s not Barry, that’s Dinah.” He closed his eyes to Bruce being loud and assertive and borderline violently possessive with Barry. “Dinah didn’t date Joker, and doesn’t have the resulting trauma. Dinah doesn’t obsessively tally every law broken to keep track of their anxiety level.”

“...And you...date him? When he spits the law at you? Isn’t that, I dunno,  _ annoying _ ?”

“Annoying doesn’t mean ‘incapable of dating’, they’re just quirks. I mean, coping mechanisms are different for everyone. I once dated this girl who-”

“Siobhan, John,  _ heel _ !” 

Cisco was at Barry’s side before he even processed the situation. “Barry?” Barry had a gun out, cocked and pointed (not good), his nose was bleeding (very not good), and the hyenas looked ready to rip someone’s body open like an overstuffed pinata (this was extremely not good). 

“Hello, Cisco.” 

“Barry, put the gun down.” Barry hesitated, side-eyeing Cisco, who nodded at him, quietly reaffirming the order, hand raised towards Barry’s wrist but not touching. He put it on safety and dropped it, hands raised, backing away a little.

**_“You stay there.”_ **

Barry froze, breath sticking in his throat. Cisco, though most vibrations were always a dull background he’d learned to ignore, felt Barry’s stutter and he got in front of him, blocking him from Psymon. “Hey, Matches? Get your boyfriend out of here.” The words burned on his lips.  _ It’s an act, it’s an act Cisco, just an act, protect them. _

“He’s not really dating Matches, is he,  _ Vibe _ . That is what you call yourself now, when you beat people half to death, isn’t it? Not much has changed, has it,  _ pequeño zorro loco _ ?” Cisco narrowed his eyes slightly.

“If you know that much you know who he really is. Who he used to be. You know none of them need this. Please.”

“Are you begging me?” 

Cisco looked at the malformed man, someone he’d helped make this way, someone he’d tossed over the edge of sanity. He looked behind him at Barry, who was still struggling to heal, then back to Psymon. He shook his head softly. “I don’t beg, and you know that. But…”

Barry’s vibrations normalized somewhat, and he slumped into Matches’ arms, half unconsious. Cisco chewed on the inside of his mouth.

“What do you want, Psymon?”

“I want my life back!” the man screamed, and Cisco jolted backwards as he was hit with mental agony-something that didn’t happen very often, actually. He felt himself go haywire as he struggled to crest Psymon’s attack. 

“You….you’re the one who drove them away, Simon.” His voice cracked but was audible. “And maybe I don’t deserve my loved ones, but don’t take them from me.” He wouldn’t be able to bear it. They were his. He didn’t deserve them but they saw all the ugly that made up Cisco Ramon and wanted to be near him anyway. He could feel his thoughts being pulled from him, looked at.

Psymon screamed, and two bodies thudded behind him, then the rest of the club. 

“Why do you get to be happy and I don’t?! You pushed me out of a window!”

“And I regret being an asshole. I regret hurting you, and thinking it was funny. I’m sorry. That’s all I can offer.” his abuela once told him ‘you can apologize for anything wrong you do. You can mean it from the bottom of your heart, but this won’t change poison to nectar.’ His apologies to Psymon wouldn’t change the man, but maybe it’d ease the nagging in Cisco’s soul.

“You only say it because you’re afraid of me.”

“No. Not of you. For them.” he gestured around them. “For Barry. Because he deserves a lot more good in his life instead of trying to help me deal with my past. For Matches because whatever fucked him up he doesn’t need his brain turned to jelly. For my patrons, for my bartender. For my hyenas because they’re animals and don’t know what’s going on. And I don’t want you killing them and living with that. You’ve got enough.”

Psymon’s barrage stopped and Cisco nearly dropped to his knees, but grabbed a table to prevent it. 

“I’ll stop. But I expect you to make this up to me at some point.” Cisco shook his head softly. 

“No killing, no sex. But other stuff...sure. Just don’t hurt them.”

When Cisco did drop to his knees, it was beside Barry. He touched the pale skin and closed his eyes, trying to will away the image of the blood at his ears and nose and lips. And as far as he knew, Barry was the only one with that much damage. 

Still, this didn’t make him regret their relationship. Quite the opposite, in fact. 

Once upon a time there were two boys. Simon and Cisco. Simon was weak and Cisco was angry. During an argument, Cisco pushed Simon out of a two story window, and Simon had fallen into something, and almost died. And Cisco had told him he wished he had. 

Nothing would change the past, but in Barry Cisco saw a better outcome, and hoped at one point, Simon would reach out to someone and be embraced and loved, and helped.

  
  


~*~

“Of the crazy people from the past, yours is by far not the weirdest.” Barry said, several days later, in a hospital bed. Tired, but okay.

“Oh yea?”

“Oh yea. Like….you have  _ not _ seen weird till you’ve met Creeper. He’s lemon yellow with moss green hair and cherry red lips. Joker had the bright idea to mix fear toxin and joker venom and then torture a guy with it. He fell into our vat and boom. Out popped Creeper like the abomination of a brother I never wanted.”

“I- _ what?! _ ”

“Creeper. He’s a thing. And he’s not even the weirdest.”

Cisco raised his eyebrows at Barry who took his hand gently, gingerly. 

“I knew what I was getting into, Cisco Ramon, when I went steady with you. Costumed life, whether hero or villain, is insane. Our pasts are insane. And I’ll share my skeletons if you share yours, but...later.” he yawned as he squeezed Cisco’s hand, which Cisco squeezed back.

“Jason and Jinx want to visit, later.” Barry smiled at that news, before falling asleep completely.

Outside the bat symbol lit up the night sky, and Cisco could bet at least twenty costumed folk were running around. Barry was right, the costumed life was insane, but somehow, Cisco wouldn’t trade it even if you bribed him.


	2. Catching Smoke In Stained Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are no such things as coincidences. And trying to make sense of time is a bit like catching smoke with your bare hands. ANd Cisco's are stained. And Cisco's are shaking. And Cisco's hands may not be strong enough to hold his life together.

There were days Cisco hated dimension hopping, hated the frizzing pop along his skin as he walked through his portals. There were days the thought of going to any alternate reality gave him a bit of anxiety. 

And then there were days like this, when he really liked the idea of Earth 16 and that one shop in England work the best fish and chips that in his reality was a hardware store. Days like this when a couple hours from the club felt actually pretty freeing. 

Jinx was pregnant, with a speedster’s child. His name was Bart Allen, and he seemed okay. She was two months. Barry was attempting to piece together she’d gotten with their version of Flash without him realizing, and Cisco had left around the time Jason promised not to shoot this Bartin the crotch with a semi automatic. Barry had let him go with a small smile, a pat on his shoulder and a quiet “I’ll talk to them. Take a breather, babe.” with the softest red cheeks over the pet name he’d recently been trying. 

It was the idea things were changing and shifting. They were still….mostly the same? But different too. And Jinx….He saw a picture of his mom with Dina’s dad in his mind’s eye, a young woman with no idea what was going to happen. Beaming and excited. That picture, dog eared and faded, was in Dina’s apartment. Dina’s kitchen, taped to her fridge. He hoped Jinx well. But he also wanted to throttle both of them for not being more careful.

“Hey stranger. Can I sit here?” 

He smiled and patted the seat by him with a small shrug. It was Sara Lance. (Not  _ his  _ Sara, not Afro Latina with natural hair highlighted with lighter colors and who wore jean jackets and anime shirts whose voice could shatter glass as she laughed) “how is my pseudo sister?”

“Reminding my pseudo brother he’s technically not allowed to just travel without permission to alternate dimensions” she said with a small laugh as she snagged one of his frenchfries. “There are rules, Cisco.”

He rescued the rest of his food from her frenchfry stealing self. “I needed to get a fair distance away from the club, away from the heroes and all of that.” He noticed her shifting and hurried to explain. “There’s nothing wrong! Exactly. Not between me an Barry, anyway. Our...pseudo daughter got pregnant with a speedster’s kid. Our Barry Allen. Named Bart here though.” 

She was still for a time before snorting. “Well, that’s kinda fucked, bet he’s a nice guy, but...ya know…” she paused. “Do you want me to come help…?” he waved her off.

“Sara it’s fine. You’ve got stuff to do you don’t need to bother, I just...needed a bit. Far away from the possibility of vibrating his speedy self into exploding.” He could. He’d thought about it before too, with that one alternate Barry Allen in the armor suit, who was a bit of a hypocondriac. She stole another fry and he moved the food away from her.

“If you need me, I’m just a call away, Cisco.”

He let himself take a moment, watching the people going about their busy lives, unaware there were a thousand, a billion, an eternity of variations of themselves, having different adventures and experiences, always, forever. He shrugged, as he gathered the words he wanted.

“Do you know any ideas for a baby who may have speed powers, or luck based powers, or an unholy combination of both?”

It was a long moment. “No,” she told him slowly as she looked at the pidgins and the people. “No but I can ask around. I doubt this is the only instance they get together. Things happen, and things echo across dimensions, you know?”

It was the best he could hope for. He leaned back against the bench and sighed softly. She waited for him.

He kicked at the bench he was sitting on. “Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m doing anything right. I was a leader of a gang with Dina, okay. After my you died, before Dante died. Sionis got us both as a packaged deal when we wrecked his club and he responded by killing our guys.” He rubbed at his face. “I hurt a shit ton of people cuz I liked hurting.”

“You feel like you haven’t earned it?” she prompted when he trailed off, and he shook his head.

“I’m going about this weird. I’m like...34, I’m going to be a sort of grandfather to a child of a 22 year old I’m not married, none of these people are related to me by blood. It feels all sorts of off.”

Sara bumped his shoulder hard enough to give him a dead arm. “You are a lucky son of a lovely woman and having a rag tag group in no way means this is weird or off it just means it’s another version of happiness and your stupid head just has to accept it as good.” he laughed at her change of expression, though agreed that their mom, whatever dimension, was lovely. Still, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to take her advice. “Hey, is your Wally gonna pop the question or..?

Cisco smirked, feeling off still but happy to let his wallowing go for now. “No idea but what about your dashing captain? Please tell me you bought a ring for her?”

“Did Dina buy a ring for Oliver? It  _ was _ leap year, after all.” she asked, beet red and trying to change the subject.

He began laughing. “Fuck, no. He made her promise after last year’s April Fool’s prank she wouldn’t. She made him promise that if he can’t the next four years, she’s asking. I love them.”

They laughed together. Typical Dina. In every reality, every world, typical Dina. 

He sighed. “It’s really weird, you know? You’re not there, and Dante’s not there, and things keep going. And then here you are, and in another reality I heard there he is, and...it’s weird.”

“It’s like talking to ghosts for you, isn’t it?” He smiled wryly. 

“A bit. It’s easier, though. You don’t  _ look  _ anything like my Sara. I don’t look like most Ciscos. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like looking at someone who looks exactly like a dead family member.”

They were silent for a long while, considering it in their own ways, their own experiences. Finally Cisco roused himself

“So, miss Lance, why are you here this good afternoon? I’m crying bullshit you needed to actually show up here just for me.”

She laughed dryly. 

“There’s this kid. Calls himself ‘Red X.’

~*~

It turned out there were two kids. A lot of anger, and wormhole shenanigans. 

This Red X was from his dimension. He was a spunky little shit, Cisco liked him immensly. He mentioned he was one of Waller’s “projects” and Cisco knew he and Barry would be having a second son whether the kid realized he’d just been adopted or not. It wasn’t that Cisco just adopted any kid willy nilly, it was Barry had Jason who was a victim of Joker and Cisco saw echoes of himself in this Red X.

There was more going on, of course. The kid Red X had teamed up with was a villain in this universe. Both of them were being puppeteered by someone else. 

At one point Cisco cornered him. “Look at me, kid. Look at me. Is this worth it?”

“Worth it, not worth it, it’s not my world and it’s fun.”

Later, when his partner in crime was hurt, a spunky girl named Jinny Hex, and he was holding her tightly, Cisco tried again.

“Is it fun now? Is it worth it now?”

They won. She was put in the hospital. Jinny wasn’t someone who could go through dimensions easily, something about her great great grandfather passing down massive cell degredation from too many time travel issues. Cisco made sure X was fine, and knew where his and Barry’s apartment was, and then went home.

~*~

The first thing he did was hug Jinx. The second thing he did was hug Barry. Third thing he did was tiredly point at Bart Allen. 

“You be good to her. Stay good for her. I’m not opposed but you be  _ good to her.” _

He then went to bed. 

Later he found out he’d slept for two days. Fuck.

~*~

Red X, aka Scorn, aka Andrew Mallory, showed up two weeks later. He had a stained resume, and his badly cut blond hair had been attempted to be tamed. Barry had been filled in on what had happened and walked over to him.

“How old are you, kid?” he asked, taking the resume from slightly shaking hands. Andrew glanced at Cisco, who shrugged.

“He’s the lawyer. If that’s an appplication for the singing position, he handles it. He’s also my main singer.” his mouth quirked into the slightest smile. “And my boyfriend.” Barry beamed at him. 

“First time you said that in english, lover.” 

They paused and looked at Andrew. 

“Is...that okay…?”

He shrugged. “I don’t think I should make a morality call, honestly.”

That was a pretty tactful dodge. Plus, not the time or place. Barry beckoned him to the microphone on the stage.

“The resume is a bit sketchy. Seriously, your age baby boy. I need your actual age and you sure as fuck are not 27. But, I know some friends who are looking for a singer. If you’re good, I’ll put a word in.”

Cisco watched them, he closed his eyes for a moment and pictured things as they were. Jinx with a belly just starting to show, an anxious Bart curling his hands around her middle. Jason, a member of two wildly different families, the various members of said family poking around sometimes, himself, and Barry. And now, Andrew. 

It was changing. He wasn’t ready, but he was excited.


	3. Candyfloss Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s good morning and bad afternoon and better weekend. It’s a Creeper and an apology and romance. It’s just the tempo of their lives.

Cisco loved mornings on days the club was mandatorily closed (nobody injured this time, just Kiteman being an idiot and getting in a fight with Riddler, some of the tables and part of the bar needed repairs though). Because mornings off meant waking up whenever he felt like it, and being in bed for however long he felt like, with one Barlow Quinzel. Cisco loved trying to catch Barry before he was awake. He loved the soft kitten like snores, the way Barry’s elbow cradled his head instead of the pillow the arm rested on. He loved the way the (currently black) long hair splayed messily along his arm, face, pillow, sometimes caught in his fingers.

Cisco’s favorite thing was that at night, Barry threaded their fingers of their free hands together and slept facing him. Barry was beautiful asleep, though Cisco had never seen him in a truly deep sleep, ever.

Today, however, was different. Barry was dead asleep still. Cisco checked quickly for any suspicious spikes in his vital signs to indicate a nightmare or being trapped in sleep. Nothing. Barry was just...sleeping. Cisco carefully extracted himself from Barry, and went to the kitchen for two cups of coffee, he knew Jason would have made some for everyone.

John nudged him as he poured, rather upset his normal job was being taken over. Cisco patted him on the head. “Is it okay if I do this myself today? I want to treat Barry, ya know?” John seemed to be judging him and Cisco laughed. “I want to be a little romantic, see him smile. I’ve got a plan.”

The hyena gave him a hard stare for about twenty more seconds before giving his usual barking little laugh and bounding to wake up the newest member of the family, who was still a bit uneasy around John and Siobhan. Less because they were hyenas and more for the fact Scarecrow had tested (without permission) a formula that made animals smarter. Cisco wasn’t even sure what he’d even  _ do  _ with it, but while John and Siobhan had gone from pets to basic people in animal bodies, evidently it wasn’t what the man had been hoping for. 

Barry preferred Almond Vanilla coffee creamer with a dusting of cocoa and cinnamon stirred in. Cisco put sugar and nothing else in his own. Padding back to their room he checked each of their kids. Bart Allen was curled around Jinx in her (their, now, he supposed) bed, she was six months along now and the baby was healthy. So far, no indications of speed, but nobody was sure if that would show up after birth. Just in case, she was taking it slow and keeping herself in states of calm. He’d gained a begrudging respect for the Justice League kid. His family life had been equally rough. He could get that. 

Bart Allen wasn’t  _ technically _ Barry Allen, they’d found. He was his great grandson. Bart had been raised by Barry’s wife Iris, when he’d been sent back in time at nine years old. Barry had been working as a hero for four years at that time. When he’d died Bart had assumed the Scarlet Speedster identity and nobody had noticed. He lived alongside his grandparents, and that had to be all sorts of weird.

Next was Red X, who was in a wrestling match for his blankets with John. “Let him win, Andy. Or he’ll lay on you.” Andy snorted but did as asked. John pranced away with the blanket, quite pleased the new pup was learning the order of things. There was the new Robin-let passed out on the duvet next to the bed. Damian. Cisco looked between him and Andy, who shrugged. 

“He was sulking last night and just fell asleep.” 

Cisco nodded. “I’ll have him call Bruce later. Get some food, when he wakes up remind him no weapons in the eating area. 

He passed the living room, Jason was there talking quietly with Stephanie and Dick Grayson. He left them be and went back to his and Barry’s room. 

Barry was, incredibly, still sleeping soundly and still doing well. Cisco smiled, setting Barry’s cup on the table by his side of the bed and climbed onto his side, taking his phone from the charging dock and quietly watching movies as Barry slept. Occasionally he’d glance over and commit the sleeping face to memory. 

Barry drooled a little in his deep sleep, his face lax, no emotion except maybe utter calm. The hand not in his hair was pressed against his chest twisted so palm was out and fingers half curled. It fascinated Cisco. He wondered if Barry knew he did that. 

Two and a half hours later, at 10:30, Barry eased into his light sleep pattern, face becoming less relaxed and more towards his happy but watchful expression. Cisco let his hand be snatched by the free hand, and at 11:52 Barry woke up.

“Mmmph…” he groaned softly as he opened his eyes, blinking dully for several moments. His hand curled around Cisco’s tighter when he realized Cisco was fully awake already. “How long was I asleep?”

“You were in a deep sleep until around ten and passed into your REM, then woke up fully as you reacclimated with wakefulness.”

“Someone was talking to Earth 1 Cisco again.” 

“He’s fascinated with the fact I don’t need technology to use my powers, just enhance them.” He grinned at Barry a little. “So when he rambles during the tests, I learn things by listening.” 

Barry laughed, sitting up so he could stretch. Cisco pointed at his cup on his night table. “Your coffee, John let me do it.” Barry raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh?”

“John’s an unapologetic romantic. He loves Hallmark.”

“So does most everyone in this household he’s not special.” But Barry was smiling. He grabbed his cup, cold but still fine, and carefully moved on his knees back to his lover. Cisco stretches an arm out for him, curling him close and kissing the top of his head.

“Never seen you sleep that deep,  _ novio.”  _ He said gently, murmuring into Barry’s hair. “What were you doing between the club being shut down and Scarecrow and Kiteman being arrested and when you came home?” And had pulled Cisco to their room for a few rounds and sleep. 

Barry didn’t answer for a long while, simply rested his face in the curve of Cisco’s neck. 

“Thought I saw Creeper, for a second, in an alleyway. So I followed.” Cisco waited for Barry to continue, but he set his phone back on the table and began stroking Barry’s hair. “It  _ was _ him. He was curious. And upset about a lot of things. I argued with him to come with me, get help” Barry sighed softly. “He said he’d think about it.” 

Cisco waited till he was sure Barry was finished, and stroked his face. “How do you feel?”

“Last night I didn’t feel good, today I feel better. Sleep helped I think.” Cisco could feel the beginnings of a smile being pressed into his neck. “Sex too.” Cisco snorted fondly. 

“It was damn good, yea.” He regarded the pale man in his arms with gentle affection. Barry could flip between blushing like a virgin to being the most lewd person in. the room and Cisco loved it. He rubbed Barry’s bare leg, looking at the tattoos under his fingers. Blues and greens and pinks and reds, all swirling over the ash white canvas of Barry. Beautiful, but saddening. Cisco hoped one day Barry could get a tattoo that had more positive connotations aside from abuse. 

“You wanna get up, Barry?” Barry considered.

“...Siobhan hates when we don’t leave the room all day.” He said, sighing. “Let’s go see if there’s breakfast.”

~*~

In the end of it they’d decided for an impromptu date, alone together, for lunch and later maybe dinner. Walking around downtown Gotham and simply talking. Most other people would be scared out of their minds for being in Gotham downtown near the sketchier neighborhoods as it got darker, but places like these were Cisco and Barry’s playgrounds. 

And Barry was a known figure to avoid.

“Look I’m telling you, purses are a massive treasure most people ignore.”

“I’m not sold.”

Barry wagged a finger at Cisco as he defended the purchase of an over the shoulder carpet bag. 

“ _ Storage space.”  _ I can carry way more of way more if I plan my shit right. And this beauty is going to be big enough to carry my collapsible mace.” He patted the bag affectionately. “Plus people tend to underestimate a dude with a bag, and that was always handy for a lotta situations, after.”

After. After Lucky Ace and going steady with Joker. Barry rarely brought that up, so Cisco chased it. 

“Give me one solid example of when a purse paid off in a chase.”

“You ever seen Mary Poppins? I got it on good authority that movie scares the loving shit out of a Robin now.” 

“How so?”

“He didn’t expect a cactus being thrown at his head.”

“Uh…”

“Yea baby, the succulent is fine. Tim owns it now, I think. Takes care of it.” His face fell and Cisco wrapped an arm around him. Barry rarely talked about the third Robin, but what happened had been shortly after his final ditching by Joker. And Cisco didn’t know if he regretted not being there or was relieved he had nothing to do with Tim’s torture. 

There wasn’t much time for anything else before something as yellow as a healthy lemon tackled Barry out of his arms, sounding like a screaming kettle. 

“Creeper!” Barry shouted, trying to wrestle the feather boa wearing yellow man in a speedo off of him. “Creeper  _ stop!  _ I need you to get off!” Cisco stayed back, watching quietly, concerned. This was Barry’s fight. This was Barry’s past. A lot more bizarre than Cisco expected but… Barry had warned him. 

Creeper finally leaned backwards, low maniacal laughter as he watched them, rocking side to side as his hands hung down to his knees as he curved over, head cocked and eyes wide and crazed. 

Barry got up slowly, breathing heavily. He walked towards Creeper, slower than slow, hands up and cautious. 

“Creeper, when you escaped I’d thought you’d  _ died _ . Joker thought it was funny. I told you that. But..you and I are both immune to poisons now, after that.”

The manic smile began turning down, then up. 

“I did look. For something to salvage, to bury. And I’m sorry. When I heard last year you’d popped up...I should have gotten you.” 

Creeper crouched then, animal like, knuckles pressed into the ground, his teeth a bared, smiling snarl. Barry stopped then, hands still up. 

“Jacks been sleeping for a very long time.” Creeper said, half snarl half laugh. “And you made a new family but nobody got gassed or hurt. You  _ forgot _ me too!”

Cisco could hear Barry’s voice crack like ice in spring. “I didn’t. I didn’t! I just didn’t know how to...face you. Everything I did, how could I face you? Either of you?”

Creeper shook his head and began laughing. “Six years of this! I love you anyway, Harlequin. Brothers forever. But I’ll kill Joker.”

“No. Don’t.” Cisco bit his lip at that. Barry’s voice...was a mix of protective and detached anger. “If anyone’s going to kill Mista J, it’s gonna be Batman, or it’s gonna be me.” Barry pressed his hands to his mouth for a long moment. 

“Creeper, you ain’t a killer. Yellow skinned wacky man. Any part of that translate to killer to you?” 

Creeper rushed forward and squeezed Barry in a hug. 

“No. Joker’s mine. You ain’t gonna get hurt, Barry. No more.” 

~*~

“...So how did you convince my other half to undergo treatment?” Asked a rightfully dazed Jack Ryder. Barry shrugged. “I think he was tired.” Barry looked tired. “An Jack, I’m sorry. You’re legally dead, by the way.” 

“...this is…”

“A lot. Yea.” 

Jack looked at Barry flatly. 

“You turned me into a shapeshifting invulnerable immortal circus freak. And I can feel him in my head, laughing.”

Barry sighed softly. 

“I can’t even begin to repair that, Jack. But the money in that package is gonna get ya an apartment an I can help legally prove ya are in fact not dead. Least I can do.”

Cisco was leaned against the counter with Andy and Jason. Jason looked, at least, partly sympathetic. Andy was tense. 

When Jack left Andy sidled out of the kitchen, the need to protect fulfilled for the time being. Jason moved to Barry. 

“You owe Bruce again.” His voice was quiet. Barry shook his head.

“Finishing the thing with Matches and agreeing to help Bruce Wayne with a gala for Atlanteans is a small price Jason. I managed to help Creeper. Nobody was going to get hurt with him, but I helped him and now he’s not hurting.” He smiled. “I feel a lot better.” 

Jason watched, worried before smiling slightly. “Well, it’ll be nice having you at those stuffy dances for a little bit. Makes everything less awful.” 

He glanced at Cisco, hesitant. “You know, We can bring a plus one...I go stag but..” Cisco laughed. “Yea okay Jason. But only if Barry asks.” Barry laughed, tired but amused. 

“Oh alright. Cisco Ramon, will you go to the Gotham History Day Ball with me?”

“Yes,  _ Novio _ . I’d love to.”

Shit kept happening, but at least it wasn’t boring. And Barry looked better, so that was a plus


	4. Moth Fires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco likes being with Barry, he likes loving Barry. Cisco likes Barry interacting with Orm. He likes Orm.
> 
> There is never a part of him that doesn't need both. 
> 
> Barry makes him want to be more, Orm reminds him it's okay to be where he is, needed as is. Both of them do, actually. 
> 
> Perhaps one day, maybe.
> 
> and on top of all that there's the birth of a child and Cisco couldn't be happier. 
> 
> Well... he longs for something more, but this, this is really close to what he wants. Whatever that is, exactly, this is close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hints of child abuse in terms of Orm's and Barry's childhood sprinkled through out, be careful. Nothing explicit, but mentions of ptsd fueled reactions and hints of child abuse.

The next several days were spent in flurries of activity. Jinx’s due date was close to the ball, Jason had taken it upon himself to teach Cisco how to ballroom dance, given up and called Barbara Gordon. She’d brought Dick Greyson to help with the dances as well. It was just an unspoken fact that Cisco was probably going to be dancing with Barry, circumstances permitting.

Barry was bouncing between ball planning, and baby planning. While Cisco helped, Barry was encouraging him to just enjoy the more fun aspects. 

And Cisco quickly realized why Joker’s plans had always worked more while he and Barry were together. Barry was a  _ planner. _ This was where he was in his element. Laws and rules and statistics and planning for any and every scenario. Carefully manouvering things to have the best outcome all while joking and staying light hearted. 

Cisco did make sure he took a breather now and then. Tuxedo designing seemed like the best solution honestly. Cisco had, to his surprise, enough money to actually splurge on something designed for him. He knew the club did well, saw the money coming in, saw the numbers in his bank account, it had just never registered that he was upper middleclass now. His spending habits had never changed, and he had to guess that was why there was a nice nest egg in his savings. 

He did like, though, that he could afford a nice suit. Could  _ design _ and alter the suit to his own specifications. Actually have a nice suit that fit him for once. 

“And that’s why I never wear store bought suits anymore if I have to be fancy, lover.” Barry stated, amused, as Cisco ran his fingers over fine fabric, admiring the feel of a nice outfit that didn’t strain against his underarms and across his shoulders, didn’t sag where it shouldn’t. Barry was sitting on a bench, multi tasking looking at approved playpens and baby doors on his phone, and offering suggestions and compliments to Cisco and the tailor on the suit. 

“Well, I never had the opportunity, but you’re right. I don’t want to go back to the store bought stuff if I can help it.” The three piece tuxedo he was wearing was, personally, too fancy for him normally but for a ball he’d indulge. Unlike what his sister claimed Cisco did have some vanity in his appearance, and he loved when he looked good. 

“Why don’t you get something? My treat.” It was a conversation they had often since the start of the fittings a few weeks ago. As usual, Barry laughed and shook his head. 

“I appreciate the offer, as always, but I have a tuxedo I never got to wear. It’s still good and I do want to use it at least once. Maybe next year I’ll accept. We’ll see.” 

And Cisco couldn’t even be mad at that. Why have a second tuxedo if your first one was still serviceable? Still, the excitement of having enough money he could even consider this, was a dizzying elixir. 

“Are you nervous?” He asked, as he began taking off the outfit. Some last small alterations would be made, and then it would be sent to their apartment. Barry set his phone down on the seat beside him, watching Cisco (with assistance so he didn’t damage the clothes), strip to an undershirt and boxers. 

“...Yes, and no. I’m not really nervous about the other party goers, they can hate me all they want I’m not bothered by that. It’s the...potential party crashing.” Cisco winced a little. 

“You think  _ he _ would show up?” 

“My ex isn’t the only one I’m nervous about, lover.” Barry laughed a little. “There’s quite a few others who are all equally inclined to crash parties.Oswald, for one. Frieze for another. Neither of whom are my biggest fans. Plus, the new king Arthur announced he’s bringing Orm. And maybe Arthur isn’t being tricked and Orm really is repentant but Manta is still causing mayhem and hates them both. So we’ll see if they’re enough of a draw for him.”

Good points, all of it. And Barry was tense about Orm himself. He’d been referred to as “Ocean Hitler” at least once. Barry believed in redemption, but it would take a very long time for him to warm up to the Atlantean if Orm was serious about becoming better. Cisco moved to where his clothes were beside Barry, neatly folded. “So, did you find any good baby safe baby gates?” 

“Oh, yea! And they’re ones I’m fairly sure the sweeties could open without too much trouble.”

‘Sweeties’ being his term for the hyenas when they were in public. People got tense when you talked about hyper intelligent hyenas for some reason. 

Cisco smiled fondly at him, leaning down to kiss him gently as he pulled his shirt down. There were moments when he felt like there was nothing else but this. A happy relationship and conversations. But they never lasted as long as he wished. Still, trying to draw them out only got him so far, and it was nice to savor what was.

“Home now?”

Barry quirked an eyebrow at him, though smiled. “Yea, okay.” His voice was gentle and warm as he stroked Cisco’s cheek for a moment.

Barry was rule oriented, he liked losing himself in plans, activities and rules. These were his elements. But he also knew when Cisco needed time. Barry was more of an extrovert, amazingly. Cisco could be friendly, and he loved his club, but he sometimes just needed to recharge. And he wanted to be ready for when the baby came, and the ball happened. 

It was nice having someone who understood, at least on some level, Cisco sometimes needed to be in a small state of solidarity. This was who they were, and it was actually really nice.

~*~

“You want Orm- _ Ocean Master Orm _ to stay with us?  _ Why? _ ” 

“I know, I know,” Arthur was incredibly apologetic, hunched over their couch and coffee-table that he absolutely _dwarfed_ and running fingers through his mane of loose curls. “If it makes you feel better you were the last person on my list to ask.”

Barry was rubbing his forehead, eyes closed, as he sat in his overstuffed armchair. “Okay, I can sympathize but Arthur, you  _ do  _ realize why I and some of my kids have issues with his exploits, right? He was a bit too-”

“I know, and he knows. Now.” Arthur rolled his eyes. “Fairly sure half this effort to redeem himself is because he was offended by being compared to a human mad man.” 

“Which doesn’t help his case.” Barry hissed out softly. Cisco took a deep breath, feeling Barry’s quiet anger, and hesitance. People vibrated with emotions and now he could feel it. Though this wasn’t something even Barry really knew. He’d kept it to himself. It wasn’t a lack of trust, but how do you explain ‘I can feel how your body vibrates when angry or aroused or afraid’? Until he knew how to explain, he wouldn’t.

“Arthur.” Cisco said softly. “Your brother needs to  _ promise _ to keep any negative comments on humans to himself. I get it, you want him to kind of experience some human family life before the ball, help his case, and we tend to have dozens of people in and out, but this is not a normal family. If he behaves badly, he’s out. We’ve kicked Scarecrow out of here, and Catwoman once before they got the hint. We will kick out Orm.” Barry made a small noise of affirmation, and Cisco knew he was grateful. Barry probably was running on steam right now, and they both knew he wouldn’t have been able to say that nearly as effectively in this situation.

Arthur nodded. “I know, believe me. And I’m making sure he knows. Honestly though he mellowed a  _ lot _ when he saw mom again.” Cisco looked at Barry, who sighed.

“And that’s the only reason I didn’t say no immediately, you know. I know how it is, to be warped by grief from family dying.”

That was about as much of an allowance as Arthur was going to get. Cisco pointed at him. 

“For certain it’s only till the ball. So he has two weeks. He’d also better be glad Jinx is staying with Bart and his great grandmother and grandparents while we get the study converted for the baby for her, or you would be shit out of luck. He’s not going near her or the baby right now.”

“I’m going to make sure he doesn’t fuck up.”

~*~

A week with the Atlantean, and Orm was actually behaving himself. He was quiet, and while he was imposing and had a resting bitch face nobody could match-not even Bruce or Jason-he kept any xenophobic comments he probably had to himself, and remained polite. Barry and Jason were, in response, equally polite. Andy was a little less polite and a bit more abrupt, though Cisco couldn’t blame him. Andy and Jason had latched onto each other as brothers, and Andy was often taking on the role of defender for his new family, which worried Cisco. But Andy’s subtle hostility was probably what helped keep Orm behaving. 

Barry, for his part, tried not to rock the boat, but the tension in his home was draining him, and he was considering having Ollie run the club for the next week so he could take some time and pull himself together. If he’d known what this would do to him, he would have refused. Probably. 

Barry’d been right, Arthur was really damn hot.

Orm was staring intently at the television right now though, as Cisco walked into the living room. 

“Do you...want to watch something…?” 

Orm flinched.

_ “Alright Morningstar, Mr. Trenchcoat, you can leave. I did everything you asked. Everything, so-” _

_ “Oh dear dear dearie me. Is that how you thought this would work? That I’d simply let you go? No no, Harlequin, you are far too interesting.” _

_ Barry had fallen out of a magic portal with Lucifer and someone Cisco could identify as John Constantine. But when Cisco went to get Barry, he was brought to his knees with shadowed chains. Jason, who’d been beside him, the same. _

_ “Besides mate, you’re the one takin care o th literal undead man, an that god tier meta human.” _

_ “Barry ignore them, we’re fi-gmph!” _

_ Something had muffled Jason and Barry had gone from usual pale to something like wet white cardboard. His arms and neck were bruised, his face mottled with bruises and swelling, and still he was brought to his metaphorical knees by Jason being threatened. _

_ “Now, Harlequin, his soul rightfully is mine. Shouldn’t have to do much for eternal suffering. But I lost a poker game,” the devil glanced angrily at his smug companion, “and John was allowed to choose one soul I rightfully possess to do with whatever he wanted. It’s a fair bargain.” _

_ “No, no that’s  _ not  _ fair!” Barry had snarled at them. “Jason’s not a pawn!” his voice had crumbled. “Let them go.”  _

_ “Mm, no. But I wouldn’t mind a trade. Otherwise, well I suppose Jason’d look very nice with runes carved into him, wouldn’t he?” _

_ “And Cisco?” _

_ “One soul per one soul, I’m afraid love. But Cisco’s not in as much danger. After all, there’s a lot of potential in magic with something like Jason.”  _

_ Jason had started screaming then, something they couldn’t see terrorizing him. Barry had looked back, horrified, before holding his hand out to the two.  _

_ “Barry, don’t-mhph!” Cisco had called before he too was muzzled by smoke and magic. It didn’t matter anyway, Barry ignored him. _

_ “If you need a pawn, take me. Not Jason. Don’t hurt Jason.”  _

_ Lucifer had taken his hand gleefully. “Oh no worries, your little robin will be fine, my dear.” Barry was engulfed in flames that didn’t burn him. “You, however, had better pray you get a miracle before you die. Because when I get your soul from Constantine’s borrowment, well...not much will persuade me to give it back, hm?” _

_ It was maybe a second later, maybe an eternity, and Jason, Barry and Cisco were alone. Cisco got up slowly.  _

_ “Barry?” Cisco asked softly. _

_ Barry flinched. _

“-trouble.”

Cisco blinked the memory away and shook his head. “No trouble. If you need help you’re allowed to ask for it, Orm.” he hesitated. “Or…?”

“I don’t want to be any trouble.” and Cisco guesse he was repeating himself, but for clarification. “I am aware my brother asked everyone to let me stay with them, and was outright refused.”

“...Yea well, Barry and Jason have massive issues with you, yes, because your stunt is similar to one of our most horrific modern tragedies, but they also get why. They’re just allowed to be upset with the actions.” Orm looked at him, confused. Cisco sighed and motioned for Orm to sit down on the couch. Cisco sat in Barry’s armchair. 

“You know about the holocaust, and Hitler, and all that. Barry and Jason are Jewish, and unfortunately that is now part of their heritage, and they grew up with that. But Barry knows about letting a death of a loved one twist you onto a path you wouldn’t have normally taken. That doesn’t excuse you, but it’s why he agreed to this.” Orm looked down.

“Jason, also, knows what it’s like. And not feeling loved or valued. Again it doesn’t excuse you, but this is why they’re being polite. Andy is someone who protects his loved ones, and he’s going to hold you accountable, simply because I suppose he feels somebody needs to.” Cisco gave a short, sarcastic little laugh. “That kid is going to get himself killed one day.” 

Orm was quiet, upset, but not guilty. Cisco wasn’t sure if he ever would be.

“...I didn’t know…”

“No, I think a part of you did. You just ignored that part.”

Orm looked at him, withdrawn, angry (at everything, it seemed), and determined. 

“How do I fix this, with them?”

Cisco shrugged. 

“Sorry man, I don’t know. They might never really trust you. And you have to be okay with that.”

They were silent for a time, and Cisco quietly picked up the tv remote, going to his Netflix and tossing the remote to Orm before standing. 

“Watch some shows if you want. I was going out to grab everyone some food anyway. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“I’d like fish, if that’s an option.”

“Yea, fish is an option. And Orm, man, consider what we discussed okay?”

He left Orm in his living room, surfing through the children’s show options.

The nagging feeling, the memory, they lingered though. Orm and Barry were polar opposites in so many ways, but that flinch...it had been the exact same, a reaction of an abused child. It didn’t fix anything by a long shot but..it was telling.

~*~

So the man had to be taught what cartoons were after encountering Ever After High.

It wasn’t the worst day, and introducing him to the animation giants were entirely worth it. Even Barry, Andy and Jason had some fun suggesting movies. And while Cisco would never discredit Orm or call him a child, his wide eyes while watching some of the classics, the little gasps and murmurs of appreciation, this moment was probably the most innocent Cisco had ever seen the man. 

They stayed away from Lion King, Cinderella, and Little Mermaid. 

  
  


The animated Beauty and the Beast, however, was an absolute hit. He sat there, leaned forward and chin propped on a hand, and Cisco had more interest watching his family and Orm than actually watching the movie. Jason and Andy in blankets by the couch, Andy offering trivia now and then, Jason laughing a bit at the antics of the clock and candle stick man. Barry, curled into Cisco’s side, occassionally mentioned something on humanity to Orm, which was an improvement. Barry didn’t really speak unprompted usually with Orm. 

At the end of it, Orm had attempted an apology. It came out garbled, at best, and Barry had stopped him. Jason had then spoken up.

“Look, the first step to improvement is holding yourself accountable. Since you’re here, you’re obviously farther in that than most anyone I know.” Barry had snorted softly. “I said most anyone man! But y’know, actions are louder than words.”

And that, was that. Things eased a little, and Cisco relaxed. 

~*~

The day of the ball they found Orm was so touch-starved he could barely stand any help getting into his (borrowed and altered) suit, and Cisco wished he had telekinesis at that moment. Barry was more pragmatic about it. 

“You wanted to be a king, what on earth did you think was going to happen? Nobody was going to touch you? You were engaged to Arthur’s fiance!”

“It’s not so bad underwater!” Orm had snapped at him. “But here, above water?  _ Nothing  _ is-is,  _ oh.”  _

His head dropped forward till the only thing keeping it up was the hands Barry had used to cup his jaw. 

“Feels like eletricity huh? And panic and joy. Terror. Euphoria. All from skin touching skin in ways that wouldn’t hurt you.” his thumbs brushed sharp cheekbones and Cisco’s stomach twisted. It wasn’t jealousy. It was  _ need. _ And it came and went so suddenly he was mentally reeling.

Barry’s voice dropped an octave, became earnest. “I won’t hurt you, nobody here in this home will hurt you.” he stepped back, dropping his hands to chest level as Orm swayed drunkenly forward for a moment before catching himself. Cisco swallowed down another wave of inexplicable want for them, and moved to Orm. 

“Dressing, and ball, and after we’ll figure the rest.” 

Arthur wasn’t getting his brother back, Cisco didn’t think. Not unless Orm himself really really wanted to leave. 

It was a slow process, dressing, and Cisco was glad they’d decided to do it an hour before they had to leave. Jason had gone to Wayne Manor to get ready himself, by request of Dick. 

Orm could barely manage a t-shirt, they’d found out, and the heavier fabric of the suit bothered him. He kept pulling at the sleeves, bothered by the cuffs. All of Orm’s usual vibrations had been replaced with a dull throbbing, thrumming of fear. Cisco moved to him, holding earphones. 

“C’mere Orm.” He offered the earphones, already getting one of his playlists on his phone up. Orm inspected the devices, and then put them in his ears. Cisco had kept the music volume low for him, but he still rocked back. 

“What- is this  _ music?”  _ Barry laughed, low, amused.

“I’m gonna guess it’s not much like what you have at home?” he asked.

“Not much at all.” Orm agreed, eyelids dropping shut as he listened. “Why is this helping?” He asked after several moments, and Cisco grinned.

“Anxiety strategy. Focus on the beats, and the earphones force you to drown everything else out. This is low enough you can hear us, but if you need it at the ball, talk to me. I know quite a bit about being overwhelmed by sound.” getting used to it had been a steep learning curve, and not pretty. Cisco felt Barry’s arms wrap around his middle. 

“We both know how to deal with anxiety, Orm. So does most of the heroes, alright? It’s….kind of a skill you have to learn.” Cisco had to smile at that, and smiled behind himself at Barry, agreeing. And feeling fond, fond, fond.

“Well, everyone but Batman, yea. His coping is vigilante-ism.” Barry laughed at the joke. 

A few moments of silence, and Cisco tuned into Orm’s emotional vibrations again, rather surprised to find something close to maybe jealousy. 

  
  


Barry set Andy up with pizza money, emergency contacts, a list of what their insurance policies covered, and the key to his weapons stash. Cisco told Orm as it was happening this was actually typical in Gotham. Orm actually looked somewhat worried. Thankfully he kept any comment to himself. 

Bruce had sent a driver for them, to keep up appearances. Since neither of them drove since they were capable of defending themselves on public transit. And Orm had never been above water for the majority of his life and thus had no idea how to operate a tricycle much less a car. 

The whole way there Barry rubbed his palms together and played with his fingers, twisting the pinky this way and that. Cisco caught one hand in his. “Nervous?”

“I-well you know I’ve just realized I’ve always been one of the villains crashing these. I’ve never gotten invited. Don’t worry though, it’s excited nervousness, promise.”

Oh. 

Cisco sighed and offered him a smile, then smiled at both Barry and Orm.

“My first time to a party this fancy, your first time not crashing one, his first time going to one hosted by humans. We’re all good.” He squeezed Barry’s hand. “We’re all good.”

~*~

The entire royal family was there, and it was, actually, good. Cisco saw so much of Orm in his mother, saw so much of Arthur in both his parents (his dad looking about as out of place as his step-son), and with them interacting, he could actually see the similarities of the half brothers. They had the same wry smile when presented with something that pleasantly surprised them. Similar resting bitch faces, which they’d definitely inherited from their mother. 

She also gave some context for why Orm wasn’t living with her and Arthur’s father, while she and Cisco were by the buffet table during a small lull.

“I hope he’s adjusting alright.”

“We introduced him to Disney movies. He likes Beauty and the Beast.”

“Is he…”

“Orm’s fairly well behaved. He kind of flounders with human social norms, but honestly I’d say that’s normal. And nobody I live with hasn’t killed people, ma’am. We’re helping him figure out how to move on from the attempted war on land-dwellers.”

They were silent and she looked down. “He’s been transferred from prison to prison, all kingdoms voting for an isolation exile. He can’t live with any Atlantean. Limited contact.” Cisco had a few moments considering if it was treason to touch a former queen’s arm, then went ‘fuck it’ and did. 

“It’s baby steps. But everyone’s getting along. I bet he’s still a stuck up ass when he’s in his elements” he was rewarded with a small scoffing laugh, “but Orm is safe with us, if he wants to stay. We’re a weird bunch.” he offered a hug and she took it. 

“Don’t take any of either of my son’s bull crap.” she said as they hugged. “Those two are absolute idiots at times.” he laughed. 

“Don’t worry, ma’am. I won’t.”

They danced together, him leading her to the floor with a laugh, content to let her gently guide him in what he was supposed to do. A month and two weeks wasn’t enough prep time to learn a waltz well. But it was fun. 

Most of the night was fun, though tiring. It was like a more intense time at his club. And he was allowed to admire his social butterfly lover, finally fully coming out of his shell again. Years and years Cisco had waited to see Barry actually be comfortable socializing again. And Barry was beautiful. 

  
  


This, this was where Barry  _ shone. _

It was situations like this Cisco half wished he could fold into the alternate self, the mask of Vibe, because it was less tiring being social when he wasn’t Cisco. 

Barry had told him, once, he’d taken Joker’s offer partly because he hadn’t wanted to be Barlow Quinzel anymore, and Cisco was coming to realize the temptation, the appeal. 

But then Orm would bring him out of his introspections, seeking the playlist or someone he could freely talk to who was available. And Cisco had feelings of not wanting to be anyone else. Of being safe in his own skin, his own bones, of not being anything more than Cisco, because that’s all that was needed. Cisco. 

Barry would check in, on both of them if they were together or just Cisco, and be a grounding point. He let them stand near him, with him, part of his conversations but not required to talk to the other people. Mostly Barry talked to the other heroes there, and some villains currently behaving. Selena was one he talked to most, off and on, and she was the least intensive interaction they had. 

Jason often slipped among them, talked to Barry, or Cisco, avised Orm on foods to try and what to keep away from. Having never eaten cow or land dwelling red meat, they’d found a week ago he had an intolerance for it, but there were plenty of fish and vegetable options Jason would press into his hands before wandering off. 

Cisco did see his sister, also with her own social butterfly. Oliver Queen, his bartender. And multimillionare philanthropist who’d survived seven years on a desert island, apparently. And while Cisco talked to her, quietly, going over villain activity, he didn’t spend much time with her. He was going to need to, soon though. There was a lot to catch up on.

At one point he caught Barry talking to Atlanna, and briefly wondered what it would look like if Orm talked to Barry’s mother Sharon. If she hated one thing besides her son’s current life, it was the Irish, and warlords. 

It would probably be better they didn’t meet. Cisco had had the unfortunate joy of meeting her and her husband, once, and he didn’t want a repeat meeting with someone who had the (well deserved) nickname “Monster Ma”. 

At one point Riddler tried to crash the party, but Barry and Cisco were already on their way out, and grabbed him with them.

The baby was coming and Nygma loved Jinx like some sort of weird uncle. 

Actually,  _ several _ villains and heroes ended up ditching in lieu of baby, and Cisco had to wonder what the doctors thought, seeing Bruce Wayne and Jason Todd, three reporters (Iris, Clark Kent and Lois Lane who’d been covering the party together as a side story), Oliver Queen and Dinah, four in costume villains (Riddler, Poison Ivy, who’d left and come back with some high protein drink for Jinx after birth, Slade because he’d been friends with Jinx as long as Barry, and Andy in the Red X costume-which Cisco was going to need the exact reasoning why, but that would wait.) and half the Atlantean royal family (Orm, Atlanna and Thomas), sitting in the waiting room. It was halfway ridiculous. They’d all sort of just followed Barry and Cisco when they excitedly explained “the baby is coming!” and Orm, for his part, couldn’t be left behind.

Cisco didn’t know what the hell they were going to do, it wasn’t like the entire group would be allowed in right after. And most of them knew Jinx was having a boy. 

Though when Bart came out because of an anxiety attack, he suddenly found himself surrounded by supportive villains and Bruce, and Cisco couldn’t imagine them not being there. Lois, Atlanna, Thomas, Iris and Riddler were giving Bart pointers (He hadn’t known Riddler was a single father, but this was actually really helpful knowledge), Ivy was quietly discussing things with Barry, Oliver and Dinah were talking to Andy, and he found himself alone with Bruce as Slade fell into a discussion with Orm. 

“I don’t even know why I’m here.” bald faced lie, they both knew Bruce loved kids.

“Well, thanks for being here.”

“You know, I could get you a bigger house. Something for everyone.”

They could definitely use a bigger house, or an apartment.

“Eh, there’s the entire upper floor of the club. It’s not used for anything anymore. I could convert it, and see if Barry wants to give Bart and Jinx the apartment.”

“I can buy you a house.”

“We owe you a shit ton, man. Not gonna add a building to that list.”

Cisco matched the Bat Glare with his own stare. 

“No. House. But get Jinx a gift card. I think she’d appreciate it, when it’s time to pick out outfits for the kid herself.”

The baby was born two hours later at 1:37 am, eight pounds six ounces.

They named him Barlow Henry Francis Allen. 

Everyone crowded around the window to watch him sleep, and then left, telling Bart congrats, and telling him various versions of well wishes and get well soons to tell Jinx.

Barry was asleep on one shoulder on the way home, and Orm dozing against his other. Cisco himself leaned back, his lips spasming now and again into a soft grin. Baby came two days earlier than expected, but he certainly had gotten a welcome. 

This, this was good. Life was good. 

Being Cisco was  _ good. _

Not perfect, not yet, but getting there.


	5. Medusa Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello darkness, my old friend.
> 
> And Cisco sees what he's been yearning for, or perhaps a funhouse mirror version. Warped and twisted. 
> 
> And he doesn't know what parts he wanted, and what parts are just fears and shadows.
> 
> Or, let's put it this way; Who protects the protector, when what he needs to be guarded from is his own self hate and doubt?  
> -  
> Abuse and blood warning, the diamonds will separate the major abuse bit.

Baby was a few months, and he was adorable. Orm kept his distance, stating human babies seemed too fragile for him right now, and he didn’t want to hurt a Justice League member’s child. Barry and Cisco, though, stopped by as often as they could. Things were a bit up in the air living space wise. Barry had agreed to giving Bart and Jinx the apartment. 

Orm had become more or less a permanent shadow, though he said little in public and simply watched. Although he wasn’t a fan of noise, and smells bothered him, and clothes that weren’t Atlantean, he insisted on being near them, and Cisco, quietly, wondered just how much isolation and lack of social interaction the man had had to endure in his life to put company with people he barely knew in enviroments he could barely stand as a better option than being alone in a hotel room. 

And Cisco wanted him. And Barry. But it wasn’t an unbearable urge to ruin them for his own pleasure, it was a warm sort of want. ‘I think we’d work best as three’, than anything. Because while Cisco wanted, he was content not having. They still sidestepped around each other a bit, and Orm had fumbled in how to talk to both Barry and Cisco more than once. 

They were friendlier to each other, and Cisco refused to push it. 

Orm’s crippling touch starvation was also something they hadn’t addressed. Mainly Orm tried to avoid the topic, and Cisco wasn’t sure exactly what he could do to help Orm if the man was actively avoiding it. 

And then, one night, he came to their shared room/hotel suite from helping Ollie, and Orm was shaking on the couch in the fetal position, arms covering his face and knees wedged into his chest, Barry akwardly attempting to comfort him without touching him, hovering and making soft sounds.

“Barry what-”

“So maybe we moniter things he watches more? Although I had  _ no  _ idea he’d react so strongly to Last Airbender.” Barry said, highly distressed. It took a second, and then Cisco groaned softly. 

“Zuko.  _ Shit. _ ” 

“I know, I forgot too.” Barry said, apologetic and upset. He got closer to Orm, hands reaching but not touching, whispering apologies. Orm grabbed Barry, trying to hug him, cling, but shaking so badly he could barely move. Cisco could see Barry’s breath hitch before he hugged Orm back. And Cisco went to the kitchenette, dizzy suddenly. 

When Barry had pretended to be on Joker’s side again, Cisco had joined a few others with similar powers (Gypsy, who’d dated Earth-1 Cisco for one), and gone to Apokolips. The issue had started when Granny Goodness held him down and caused the energy of a Boomtube wall to hit him. He’d been hit with the full brunt of Apokolips technology and somehow survived. 

Slowly, he’d started being more….not like the other Ciscos, more like something like a New God, and less like himself. Abilities to sense emotions through a body’s vibrations, for one. And these feelings of intense lust, intense rage he couldn’t get what he wanted, the knowledge he  _ could _ if he just explored what the Boomtube had even done to him, or could if he just let himself consider it. 

Being selfish no longer quite meant taking a day off to keep Barry to himself. It meant that his selfishness wanted to lock Barry in a cage and use him till he broke. His selfishness said he could force Orm to be his, force Barry to love Orm, and turn them into perverse dolls. His selfishness whispered about all the ways he could destroy the world, or take it for his own. 

The worst part was he knew he’d always had these, as passing, stupid fantasies. And now he couldn’t ignore them. Barry thought he visited earth-1 Cisco every few weeks, and he hadn’t since Jinx had announced the pregnancy. 

And Cisco wanted to fall apart, be cared for, but if he did, if he let himself cry out, would his voice kill his loved ones, would his shaking hands destroy his home? 

If he let himself be weak, would he be left in twisted rubble?

Cisco took two cups from their box with hands that did not tremble, he filled them with water from the sink, steady as stone. He carried them to Barry and Orm, smiling gently, and nothing was wrong.

Nothing was wrong.

But it still wasn’t right, either.

  
  


~*~

“Are you alright?”

Orm asked, hesitant. Cisco shrugged. Orm grabbed his arms. 

“Talk to me.” 

Cisco closed his eyes against a vision of sending a vibration through Orm so powerful he’d become paralyzed. Paralyzed and at Cisco’s mercy. 

“You and Barry say talk to you if I don’t feel right. Talk to  _ me,  _ now.”

He was using the stern no nonsense voice Cisco was fairly sure he used on his people, his brief time as king. 

“How’s your side, Orm?”

Orm’s dark storm blue eyes narrowd. 

“This is more than me being hurt by a freeze gun. You  _ laughed  _ while attacking him. I  _ heard _ you.” Orm gripped Cisco tighter, and let go and backed up when Cisco hissed in pain. “Are you alright, Cisco?”

“..You were held hostage. Dehydrated, injured and scared. I-”

“How did you know I was scared? Not even Frieze realized, Cisco.” Orm cut in, doggedly pursuing it. Cisco closed his mouth with a sharp snap. Orm held hands out to him, careful not to grab Cisco pulled away anyway. “I think you’re worrying your partner.” Orm said quietly. “Barry isn’t as clueless as you think.” 

It was the final straw, and Cisco backed away, very very quickly. He opened a portal to across town, entering it to get away from the scene of Orm injured. Barry probably on the way, the Merry Men scattered and unconscious. Frieze almost dead.

He could feel his control cracking, and he was terrified.

“Well, well. Exactly what do we have here?”

“Hello, Vibe…”

~*~

◈◈◈

◈◈◈

◈◈◈

Kissing a sobbing Barry as he cut away pieces of Barry’s skin, the pale man weakly pulling at his restraints, begging, as Cisco bit at his neck and lips, harsh and cruel. Cisco swallowed the blood, the tears, and laughed as he playfully pressed against a dying Barry in a world falling apart. He ran the knife along the inside of Barry’s mouth casually. “Tell me a joke, before I cut out your lovely tongue.” Barry shuddered, one remaining eye closed before opening it. It wasn’t blue. “Is this a fantasy? Or a nightmare?”

Cisco asked weakly, restrained and looking up at a darker version of himself. Something less Cisco and more New God. “Is this who you are, Cisco Ramon? Was Psymon right?” he was blown back by a shockwave, falling from the good self, falling away and 

Down

Down

Down 

Into a bedroom with Orm, broken on a bed, used and hurting. 

_ How did you know I was scared?  _

“I could feel it. Feel  _ you _ .” He told the figure on the bed. It moaned brokenly, and Cisco felt a rush of satisfaction about doing this, causing a former king to break so beautifully. Of hurting him with such cruelty.

  
  


_ “You will not be hurt in this home.”  _ and for a moment, Cisco saw it again, the scene, shimmering in front of the broken man on the bed. Barry holding Orm’s face. Barry promising a man who could barely stand being touched, he would not be hurt. 

“Is this what we do? Do we hurt the ones we care for?”

He rounded on himself angrily. “I want him! Them! With me to be with and adore and hurt and fix!” 

The good figment looked at the flickering image. 

“Is this adoration or twisted lust?” 

“Shut up!” 

Barry used a siren’s scream on the figure, the Vibe, and this world laughed. 

A figure with a skeletal face appeared before him in blue robes. 

**_“Keep at it, handsome. Keep fighting.”_ **

He looked around himself. A dream. This had to be. He’d known that, good to be proven true. “This is a nightmare, right? My worst fear isn’t really taking effect, if I still have a moral compass to guide me, a sense of guilt.”

**_“Oh no, no. Losing control and being depraved, becoming a villain? That’s not really your fear.”_ **

  
  


Cisco faltered, staring at the man. 

**_“Your fear, is having a moral compass, feeling guilt, and doing all of this,”_ ** arms spread the other gestured at every image as it swirled around them. Mutilated loved ones, destroyed towns, robbed banks, murders of all of his past bullies, as Cisco laughed and cried. Images of Barry, dismembered and hardly more than a moaning torso to act as a fuck toy flew around them. Orm cut open and held down with fish hooks, screaming. And still the laughing and crying as that Cisco acted, maddened. **_“Anyway. Because you like it. Because you were made for it. Because causing pain is something you like doing, and your guilt won’t hold you back anymore. This is your fear, Vibe.”_ **

Cisco clung to himself, trying to keep the seismic tremors of his fears inside. The creature took his chin and made him look up at it. 

**_“Have fun flat lining, kid. Just know when you do, All of Gotham goes into the harbor. Ciao.”_ **

**** It disappeared, and Cisco was left to the hellscape of his own making. 

  
  


◈◈◈

◈◈◈

◈◈◈

~*~

It was when he was almost wholly lost to the nightmare that he woke up. His first instinct was to grab at his chest, forcing himself to feel his own heartbeat. It was beating fine. Erratic, but fine. 

“Shh, lover.” Pale hands reached for him and he heaved himself back, half a scream caught in his throat. “Cisco-” it was a warning, exasperated plead. “Cisco what’s going on.” 

Cisco shook his head. He couldn’t process a damn thing right now, but he couldn’t go back to his subconsciousness. “I-that nightmare-”

“Dr. Destiny. I’d never known he was  _ real  _ and that’s my fault. He teamed up with Scarecrow, then betrayed Scarecrow, and I’m going to have words with Crane later. Hitting you with his gas and then letting-” Barry took a deep breath. 

“Orm was freaking out when I got there. I had to call Atlanna so he could have  _ something _ while I went looking for you.”

Cisco felt dangerously close to shattering.

“I’m sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to bother-”

“Cisco, stop.” Cisco choked, sat up slowly, looked at Barry. He was wearing a version of the Harlequin outfit. Red and black leggings with diamonds on the knees, dark red boots, a black tank top with a jacket over, red and black. Barry looked down, then up “Do  _ not _ freak out.”

It was quite a bit too late for that. 

“Why are you-what  _ happened _ -am I still dreaming?”

“One, I’m Harlequin again to help some of our world’s Teeny Titans and other assorted baby heroes, I think it’s a one time request so don’t worry. Two. You were being given remote activated stimulus in the underground while asleep that would have caused Gotham to have a massive earthquake and be destroyed if you’d died. Three-” his eyes softened as he touched Cisco’s face very gently.

“No. You’re not. And I promise you when I get you to safety I’m going to prove that.” 

Cisco brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs.

“...no.”

Barry let out a breath. 

“Please, please tell me what’s going on. Why are you pulling away from me, why don’t you talk to me? I’m here, Cisco. I love you, I-”

“Because sometimes I want to kill you. Not out of anger, but because I  _ can _ and I’d regret it, but I know myself well enough to know I’d  _ love it _ too. I want to lock you up and abuse you. Shatter the world to see if I could. Force everyone I love to be exactly what I want. And that’s not always people.”

Saying it didn’t help. He looked down, ignored Barry’s vibrations. He didn’t want to know.

“Lover, you do realize you’re not the only person with those inclinations? And very few of them are villains.” that felt like a sucker punch. He blinked at the other man stupidly. Barry just gave him a wry smile.

“So you’re powerful. It’s not  _ all  _ powerful. I somehow doubt, even with the dimension ability, you’d manage to get very far. Not because you’re better than that, but because the other you’s would kick your ass.” Cisco laughed at that, felt himself relax a little. “Cisco, bottling this...did you think I’d run away?”

“I...I don’t know. It’s not just- Barry the powers are evolving and at first it didn’t seem important, then I didn’t know how to explain what was happening, then...It wasn’t important again. There was other things more important.” 

Barry’s hands caught his face, carefully, tangled in his hair. “ _ Nothing _ is more important than you feeling safe. You need to understand that. If you ever start feeling like that. Tell someone. Me, or Jason or any of the Justice League, anyone you feel most comfortable talking about it to, tell them. Being afraid of yourself-I get that. Not...powers related, but I get the whole fear of what you’d do if you let yourself be vulnerable. 

A weird rumbling sound started, with the echoes of laughter. 

“We can finish this later. We need to go, lover.” Cisco took the hand offered, letting Barry pull him up. He flexed his hands, and felt a knawing terror.

“I don’t trust myself.”

“So we run.”

~*~

“Crane you’ve been reaming us for months.”

“In my defense-”

“In your defense I suggest you  _ shut your motherfucking mouth _ or I’ll agree with prince-y here you drown.”

“I also suggested rending him limb from limb with riptides and chains.” Orm clarified, holding Scarecrow upside down with water, both he and Barry ready to kill. Cisco watched quietly, sitting between them on the dock.

“You! Vibe! Are you just going to let this happen?!”

“They asked me what they could do to make me feel better.” 

He stood and walked to the burlap sack wearing man squirming in watery restraints.

“This? is a warning, Crane. Because I’m not Batman. I’m none of the Robins. I grew up in this cesspool just like you. And being fucked over by you is getting really old really fast.” he pulled off the mask and grabbed Crane’s large nose, not cutting off air but using it to bring them closer.

“I’m not  _ nice _ , and tonight you reminded me of that.” Cisco’s voice got very dark and very angry. “And if you touch me, or anyone else I protect I’m going enact every single one of those fears on you. Cuz my fear? It ain’t about anyone hurting  _ me,  _ are we clear?”

“Crystal, crystal!”

Cisco glared at him for a long moment. “Hey, Orm. How far can you throw someone with water like this?”

“Three or four miles if I don’t intend for it to be lethal.” Cisco nodded slowly.

“I hope you’re a strong swimmer, Crane.” 

“But you’re a hero!”

“Which is why I didn’t ask him to make it lethal. While you swim I want you to figure out ways to do your schemes without fucking us over. And if you do? Well, Barry’s turn. Again? And you’ll be paralyzed.”

Orm flicked his wrists and Scarecrow was tossed far, far, into the harbor. Cisco fell back into a sitting position, head in a hand. Barry touched his shoulder. 

“You were pretty convincing, there.” 

“With what, the threat since I’m not using my powers for a bit, or being scary?”

Barry sat beside him, Orm shifting so he was standing in front of them, but staring out into the water. 

“The threat. I’ve known you can be scary as fuck. So did Sionis. So did pretty much everyone who crossed paths when you were working.” Cisco looked at him, and Barry shrugged.

“I love all aspects of you, good and bad. Watching you kill a fuck for Sionis didn’t change my mind. I highly doubt any of your fantasies would either.” 

“But-”

“Okay, enough. I covered for my sister’s killer. I was the sole eyewitness.  _ It was my dad. _ So baby I’m rotten, I’ll always be rotten. And that’s the way things are. Also no before you ask, I don’t feel like taking him to trial. What’s the point? Ma took his side. That wouldn’t change.”

Okay, that actually helped. 

Orm, still looking out into the murky, polluted water, waved a hand. “I...killed my father and framed rogue giant squids who’d gone mad from pollution and were dying anyway. Ripped him apart.”

“For tossin yer mom int’ that storm thing-y or whatever it is?”

“That...and various other things. He seemed nice to everyone but his wife and son. After so much, well, it was time to put him down. And also, conquering the world is….kind of something I have tried so if you thought I’d be horrified by that, well, that’s rather sweet of you.”

Cisco had to laugh and shook his head. 

“I wasn’t worried about that with you. But vibrating you apart in your element for the fun of it, yes.” 

A long pause before Orm turned to him with a little snort. “Oh yes, because you’d be able to actually  _ catch me _ in a location underwater with that trick.” 

Cisco snorted. 

“I dunno. I knocked out your brother in training.”

“Yes, well, let’s not forget the list of people who’ve managed to knock him on his ass is quite long and I’m on there as well as a pirate in a stupid helmet.”

“A helmet equipped with tech you gave him.” Barry said wryly.

“Oh good point. So technically I’m there twice.” 

Cisco laughed. Laughed and laughed till he was crying. It felt good. Plus the irony of two former villains making him feel like less of a freak was helping, somehow. 

He and Barry got up and Cisco closed his eyes for a second, swaying. 

“Remind me again to only give Jason, Andy and the current chaos oriented baby birds enough of a ‘no’ to make sure that they 100% do, in fact, egg Crane’s current lair.”

Barry patted his arm. 

“Oh don’t worry. We will. I also left spray paint cans in strategic places so they think they’re grabbing off limits items if they are so inclined to go full hog.”

And this was why he loved the former lawyer.

“By the way” he started, as they began walking, all three of them, back towards the streets and a possible taxi ride home, “You know the hero business could always use your flair, Barry.”

Barry snorted. “Yea after tonight, I may need to. Keep your ass out of the clutches of idiots.” his voice softened. “If you need me, I’m here. So’s the water boy, huh Orm?”

Orm made a small noise of agreement. Cisco managed a wobbly smile. 

“Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title could be “working out some personal feelings/frustrations though Cisco”


	6. Re-building Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's taking time, but it's worth it. Being better than before, and rebuilding the pieces shaken loose. That's what you do when shit happens. And Cisco is, and happy with it.

“Okay, so I’m going to kill Crane.” Dinah said, as they caught up over Netflix and take out in her apartment. “Nobody is going to find his body.”

“While appreciated, we threw him into the harbor and I gave Andy full leave to terrorize him in his lair as long as Andy practiced caution.”

“Yea but he used you. My kid brother. My  _ idiot _ kid brother.” she smacked him over their food. “How did you think this was a good idea? Keeping quiet about-you  _ idiot _ !” She stabbed at her food. “If you ever do that again, I’ll boot you into the water and make sure your prince doesn’t rescue you for a little while.”

Cisco felt himself heat up. “ _ My  _ prince?  ¿ Estas loca en la cabeza?” she smacked him again.

“One I am not crazy so write that down and two you moon after him and Barry both. You’re hopeless around those two.” 

“I-well...yes but they need to get along first before I say anything.”

She gave him one of her Looks. 

“I think Barry’s forgiven Orm for unknowingly nearly being Hitler. Also Orm’s totally getting better with human stuff. Maybe take a couple steps back and watch them interact before you go angst-bitch on me for no damn reason.” it was his turn to swat at her playfully. 

“Me, the angst-bitch? Di, look in a mirror. Or better yet go talk to my moping bartender. Ollie thinks he made you mad.”

She groaned a little. “Noooo….Fuck….No it wasn’t Ollie. Well.  _ Our _ Ollie. Earth 1 Ollie married someone else so I looked her up here out of curiosity and she works for his family.” she dug her fork into her sweet and sour beef chow fun. “I guess I got spooked. But it’s not his fault.” he nodded, filing it away to let their Ollie know what was going on. 

She closed her eyes for a moment. “Been working with a Harleen Quinzel a little. She got her license reinstated and works in Arkham again. That woman is like...razor blades. Razor blades along shattered glass, but then at the weirdest times she can be the nicest lady.”

They ate in silence as Cisco considered all the various forms of Harley Quinn there were.

“She’s like you and Barry. Adopts the entire sidekick legion every time they show up. Honestly with everything she’s been pretty chill about things. Maybe go talk to her.”

“I’ll think about it. In the meantime, less talking and more stuffing faces and watching Castlevania.”

“The series is such an amazing garbage fire.” Dinah laughed.

“A garbage fire with garbage people who are funny and really pretty for animations.”

Dinah snorted her agreement. “I’d let Camilla fuck me senseless any day of the week.”

“Well...she’d have to turn you. Human hater and all that jazz. But yea, she’s hot. I still maintain Adrien, Sypha and Trevor are secretly together.”

Dinah scoffed at him. “ _ Secretly?” _

The rest of their afternoon was spent ripping the (good) series apart for the characters, playful mocking, and eating. Stuff Cisco had actually missed with his sister. 

Dinah was doing alright. She was still in the team with Montoya, Huntress (the Bertinelli, Helena, who enjoyed the oddball quirks of Vic Sage, the Question), and had added one of the bat kids to the roster. Batgirl to be precise. Barbara Gordon. 

Their team was still kicking ass and taking names, enjoying free drinks at Cisco’s club, though Montoya was only allowed one alcoholic drink per visit. Dinah, since Cisco needed a break after his run in with Dr. Destiny and Scarecrow, had taken on inter-dimensional related problems as their basic abilities were more or less the same. It had surprised Cisco nobody was yelling at him for needing a break. But this, it felt fine. Good. Getting back to being in a good headspace again. Doing more things with Dinah again. Plus, the fact nobody was yelling at him over his responsibilities as a hero was helping him get ready for it again. Vibe was part of him. But he needed a little rest.

“Okay” he said as he got ready to head back to the hotel, “tell me if you need help. I might not be able to use my powers right now, but I can still shoot a gun.” 

She hugged him. “I know. I’ll ask. You remember that goes both ways, yea?” 

“I’ll remember.” he hugged her back. “We need to do this more. Way, way more.”

“I’ll text you.”

The goodbye lingered as long as either of them could manage with a clear conscience. 

Walking down the steps of the building he called Barry. 

“Hey love. I’ll meet you and Orm at the club. We are needed, I think, for consulting on the upper levels?”

**“Sure, we’ll see you there. How was Dinah?”**

“Oh, fine. She thinks your idea is shit. Shit with potential, but shit.”

**“Oh so who else would she think would be a good host on a children’s programming channel?”**

“Literally  _ anyone  _ that isn’t Bruce, Helena, Question or Orm or you.”

**“Tell her she’s hired then.”**

“You know she’d kill you.”

**“Heh. Many before her tried, many after will too. Don’t argue with this, but I’ve got too many of Joker’s traits to be easy to stay dead.”**

“You know I can’t argue  _ novio. _ But you’re a nice Joker. Definitely more polite. Checks on people’s feelings, feels guilt...acts on the guilt…”

**“Cisco…”**

He smiled wryly as he left the building and began walking. 

“No that’s not what I meant. Sorry. Just that you don’t twist everyone around. You’ve always been more decent than him.” 

**“Nice save, lover.”**

“I’ll text you until I get there.”

**“Sure. See you soon, Cisco.”**

“Heya! Barry’s Boy!”

He felt himself smile slightly. “Hey Creeper.”

Creeper was filling in with the Merry Men till Cisco was good powerwise again, and seemed to be doing well.

Creeper stretched, a guy held in one hand by the shirt dazed. “Gettin better?”

“Baby steps but yea. How’s everything?”

Creeper grinned, the manic energy similar to two people Cisco’d seen before, but different. It was funny how the trio were so similar but also so different.

“Oh ya know. I think I found my calling.”

He dropped the guy and moved to Cisco, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, started walking with him. “You goin anywhere?”

“I’m always headed somewhere Creeper.”

“Pshhh bah.” a red gloved hand waved that away with a snort. “Where’s your destination today?”

“The club. Renovating everything on the second floor. We’re gonna live up there once it’s all done.”

“So it goes from who who rooms to a sort of flat?”

“One, who who? What? Jack needs to monitor what he watches with you what the hell. Two, yea, basically.”

“Noice. Hey about platinum blond.”

“Orm or Barry?”

“Barry’s Barry. Fishcake’s not earned a name yet pretty boy.”

“So I haven’t either then?”

“Nnnnnope. But Barry’s a better judge of character than he gives himself credit for.”

“Uh huh. I mean his only sour note’s Joker in my opinion.”

Creeper snapped red gloved fingers and thumped his finger on Cisco’s chest, who winced.

“What did Question say about your strength?”

Creeper laughed. “Yea, yea okay. But my point is you’re almost in my good books. By the way if you need to explain why you’re walkin down the street with the wacky man just say you were pulled aside for questions about..action figures.”

“...Sure…”

“See ya round chuckles. Tell Barry hi.”

“ _ Chuckles _ -why-bye, Creeper.” Cisco said, eyebrows raised as the yellow skinned man jaunted away. The man was always a dose higher of crazy than Cisco could stomach for long. Still, an effective replacement. You could probably launch the man into the dead of space in nothing but his speedo and go go boots and he’d be fine. He couldn’t make dimensional portals or anything, but he could survive anything you threw at him. He’d be just fine.

Annoyed and probably close to murderous, but fine.

Cisco took his time, marvelling at the entire shift in tone from night to day. Gotham was dirtier than Metropolis, sure. Dirtier, more lawless, the heroes were always straddling the line of villainy, but in Cisco’s opinion, if you had to compare them in terms of sheer livliness, Gotham won.

Gotham was a city that  _ knew _ it had problems. Knew it was dark and broken and close to constantly being demolished by god-like beings. And yet despite that (or perhaps directly because of) this, Gotham was alive. Everywhere he looked there were people talking and experiencing. Street markets existing simply because they could. Food vendors hawking wares because nobody was stopping them. Teens laughing and grouped together sharing videos on their phones. Older people on the stoops of apartments or laughing outside stores. Chaotic and alive.

That, he supposed, was why the heroes here broke their bones keeping this town from being ripped apart. And part of the reason it’d shaken him so badly when Scarecrow had gotten the idea to use him, Cisco, as a  _ bomb _ on their city. Gotham was broke, sure, but as long as it was inhabited, it could be better. And he could help that growth.

  
  


When he got to the club, Barry was discussing things with some kid with a camera. Red haired, freckled and nursing a black eye. Orm was standing next to them, arms folded. He brightened when he saw Cisco. 

“Yo, Barry, who’s the kid?”

“I’m not a kid-”

“This happens to be a Metropolis reporter. Jimmy, this is Cisco. Cisco this is Jimmy. Jimmy got punched in the face by...um…” He waved a hand as though unsure how to continue. “...Someone. Dunno. A punk. He was gonna interview Bruce Waybe but Bruce booked it when a hero showed so Metropolis muckrakers-”

“Daily Planet, thanks”   
  
“I don’t care- told Jimmy here to take pictures of everyone for a fluff piece or whatever. Long story short I was telling him how to fight.”

Did Metropolis people just get summoned if you thought about them? Was the entire city made up of Beetlejuice guys? Or Drop Dead Freds? Jimmy was almost a dead ringer for the annoying dude in the movie.

Cisco looked Jimmy over. Small, pretty, red hair and freckles, had the air of someone who needed to get his life together. He shook his head at the guy with a wry smile. 

“You’re lucky you got helped by Barry and Orm. We’re the  _ least  _ dangerous group in Gotham.”

The kid paled. “Barry and Orm?” he looked at Barry who did a small performer’s bow with a huffed laugh. 

“Yea. Harlequin and Ocean Master. Retired.”

“Don’t you date Vibe?” Jimmy asked, interested. Inwardly Cisco grimaced. Reporters.

“I date everyone I want to. Whenever I want to. Vibe gets it.” 

Sometimes, Cisco was glad Barry had a reputation for open relationships after Joker. But only sometimes.

He was more pleased that Jimmy identified Barry as  _ Vibe’s _ lover, not Joker’s. Call him selfish or vain. In this instance, he’d take either and happily.

Jimmy leaned back, disappointed. “Ah. Well. I was kinda hopin I could get his signature for my hero wall. I mean, Superman’s got a place of honor but-”

Barry laughed with Cisco, who sidled to Orm to let him have an anchor to lean against away from Jimmy. 

“The Birds of Prey and the Merry Men groups are both patrons here.” He told Jimmy. “Come back in a day or two, I’ve got to check in and make sure they don’t mind.”

Jimmy gawked, then beamed. “Oh man! Yea! That’s perfect!”

“Oh and Olsen?”

Jimmy turned to Barry, who held up a canister of camera footage. “To keep you from getting attacked as you make your way back to your hotel.” Barry said, grin too wide. “You took the picture of someone who did not want to be photographed. It happens. But take the wrong pictures and you usually end up dead, here in Gotham.”

  
  


Jimmy’s mouth hung open and Barry continued. “Now, I don’t mind. But Joker? Oh man. You are never gonna wanna know what he did to the three before he got ahold of Jack-fuck you don’t wanna know what happened to Jack, either. I don’t think they found the bodies of two of those doezens.” He waved a hand.

“Ivy’s used morons who didn’t get the hint as fertilizer unless it’s like, for conservation efforts. Freeze has this thing about being made a mockery of, and if your pictures of Penguin aren’t used to help promote his club and positive image?” Barry made a sad sound before clucking his tongue and shaking his head mournfully. “Plus, lotsa teens and shit running around here. Teens usually, if they ain’t got a good life, generally form gangs around the bigger villains. Not everyone gets lucky-or  _ un _ lucky enough t’be a Robin, ya get me?”

Cisco nodded as Barry put the canister in his pocket. Cisco and Dinah could both testify to this. Sionis had been their villain. Barry leaned in towards Jimmy. 

“Ain’t no Superman to save the good boys and girls here, sweetie.  _ Scram.”  _

Jimmy took off like, well, a bat out of hell (and Cisco filed that away to offend the Superman fanboy later. He didn’t dislike Jimmy but it’d be funny.)

“Okay who’s picture was it?” He asked when he was sure Jimmy was out of hearing.

Orm, surprisingly, spoke up. “A hybrid, like Arthur. The difference being the hybrid’s mother was only  _ technically _ high blood, and there was scandal in her family anyway. She raised the child in Atlantis.”

“Orm, hun” Barry spoke up quickly. “Great on working on what you call people like that, the last sentence was awesome. Please don’t call people hybrids. Some find that extremely belittling.” He reached over and touched Orm’s arm, and Orm didn’t flinch back. He just sighed.

“I-I’m trying.”

“You’re making progress, man. It’s slow but it’s there.” Barry congratulated the man gently. “Good job.” Cisco could feel, where Orm was leaning against him, a swell of pride. He held himself a little taller, and dare he say it, Cisco could have sworn he felt the man’s chest puff out. 

Man, he was glad things were working out. Slowly, but working out.

“So...Bruce was here?”

“Yeeep.” Barry grimaced as he said it. “We’ll talk about it inside.”

  
  


Cisco could figure what it was about, and he was glad. They needed to put their dealings with Matches to bed. 

First though, checking on the now completed master bedroom. Painting it was all that was left, and they’d do that after the whole converted flat was finished.

“Can I ask who spooked Bruce?”

“You can, but honestly I don’t understand why Raven scared him so don’t ask.”

~*~

Here he was, in a den of viper and heroes pretending to be vipers and Barry. He was wearing a suit. Not the nice one from the party. He wasn’t that high on this food chain. His old suit for when he worked for Sionis was suitable. Heh. Suitable.

Barry was sitting beside Matches, looking somehow tense and bored. He was dressed fairly conservatively, if you forgot the jewelry glinting at his throat and around his wrists, and the way the suit was cut. It was also red, and Cisco wasn’t sure who’d chosen the color. Depending, it could either be a subtle insult from Bruce, or an assertion of Barry’s still somewhat relevant former status. 

Most of the underworld held some connection to Matches, and Cisco knew that this was on purpose. Bruce keeping tabs on all the nasty shit going down as Matches helped his crusades as the Batman. Didn’t make the Matches persona any less smarmy, but...well it didn’t make it the worst villain Bruce had in his gallery either. 

  
  


Fuck this city was weird. 

“Ya got the money, Mr. Ramon?”

Matches drawled when it was Cisco’s turn to do business. Cisco nodded, pushing the last of the money in a manila envelope towards the man. “Can I have my lawyer back.” He asked, eyebrow raised. “Or do you want to give me another excuse aside from our hyenas for the fact you want him warming your bed.” 

Barry snorted a surprised into his hand, head turned from Matches. Cisco gave a half grin. Matches just waved them off, angry. 

“Watch yourself Ramon. Or your precious little club’s going up in flames.” He warned. “And everyone you love wearin concrete shoes.” 

Well, Orm would be annoyed by it. But probably would be alright in his element. They could certainly try on Dinah, and the only way they’d kill Barry was by catching him first. Not that he believed the threat on Matches’ end, but any bootlicker could get ideas. Cisco gave him a thumbs up.

“We’ll behave ourselves. Barlow.” Barry was off the armrest and walking to Cisco without another word, unclasping the necklace (pretty much a diamond studded choker and Cisco was betting those were all real diamonds) and sliding the bracelets off his wrists.

“You just gonna let em off that easy?” came the disbelieving call of some new guy, who’d been rising up in relevancy. Matches chuckled.

“Barlow’s been mine t’ play with for a year. Neither of em are  _ free, _ an they know it. Just means this time I ain’t gonna kill em fer Barry’s boy’s mouth.” Matches shifted. “‘Sides, Barlow Quinzel happens t’be th Harlequin. Even if he ain’t Joker’s, he’s still a costumed villain an if I bother him too much, I might get Bats or Joker or  _ both _ breathing down my neck, ya get me?”

Evidently the guy did. Cisco heaved a soft sigh as Barry came up beside him. 

“You alright?”

“Yep, I’m fine.”

When the meeting was fully over, Cisco and Barry walked out, carefully. Barry flexing his hands a little, his bullet casing nails glinting in the dim light, while Cisco kept his hand on the gun in his jacket. 

People stared at them. The guy from earlier-Squid-even looked like he had a lot to say, but Barry shot him a warning look and they were fine. 

Once they got into the taxi, Barry erupted in laughter for half the ride. 

“Dude-dude- I always thought Bats was like, a type of gray-ace!” He heaved between laughter. “I can’t even picture Bruce in bed with  _ anyone. _ HA!” He leaned his head against Cisco as he began calming down. “Do you think Orm’s okay alone?”

Cisco hesitated and Barry took his hand. “I know you like both of us, love. And yes, he’s not a bad guy-well, he is but-he’s misguided. Or has been. I know he returns your interest.”

Cisco took a breath as his eyes closed. He felt himself blush. Was he really that obvious?

“And...you?”

“...yea. Well. getting there. It’s not even his past. S’ppose it’s sharing. But…”

“But…?”

“I like him. Have a sense we’re warming up to each other. We’ve talked a bit, when you weren’t around. It’s awkward but getting there.” 

“You don’t mind his past?” Cisco asked, just to doublecheck.

“I’d only mind if he’d succeeded, or refused to admit he was wrong.” Barry said quietly. “And he failed the first and is working on the second. Plus, whatever the fuck happened when he was a kid, and then when he was defeated, well, I can’t exactly talk when it comes to trauma, can I?”

“No, suppose you can’t.” 

Orm was waiting for them at the club, wide eyed and anxious. 

It looked like Andy was with him, keeping him grounded. When they saw them Andy leapt off his barstool and Orm went from closed off to open.

“Are you guys okay?” Andy asked and Cisco nodded slowly. 

“Maybe keep an eye open for brown nosers.” Cisco suggested, sighing. “Nobody’s gonna touch Barry given his connections, but-”

Andy growled. “Nobody’s gonna touch you, either.” A small pause “or Orm.” Cisco smiled fondly at the kid. 

“Andy, I appreciate that. But if it’s between you and me, you’re the one who’s gonna live, kid.” Cisco informed him. “Though I doubt, somehow, it’ll ever come down to it.”

Andy hugged him, and Cisco hugged back. It took a second for Cisco to realize Andy was crying. He patted his back.

“Look kid. You’re gonna live. That’s all I can give you. Maybe some happy times thrown in. But life’s the only sure one. Do me a favor and don’t fuck that up trying to protect me if it’s a choice between you and me.”

~*~

So it had somehow become a small (relatively speaking) party of heroes, with Jimmy and some other reporters. Jack, notably, among the group with Vic. He quirked a bemused half smile at Cisco, shrugging. Evidently Creeper hadn’t felt like socializing that evening.

Absolutely none of the Shazams were allowed alcohol. He’d marked each of their wrists to let Ollie know who they were. Even the college student, because once he’d managed to pry it from her, he found she was twenty. Nope. He wasn’t dealing with it. The entire Batfamily was also there, and Superman as Clark Kent. After his death and resurrection, everyone knew who Clark was. Which was fine with Cisco, although getting glared at by Clark for scaring the shit out of Jimmy was something akin to getting reprimanded by a mother for scaring their toddler.

Sadly for Clark, Cisco was immune to that particular stare.

Wonder Woman and her resurrected boyfriend were also there, and Orm was discussing something with Diana. 

The Birds of Prey and the Merry Men were there, as promised. Ollie was manning the bar but an apparent reserve member, the reformed Pied Piper, was there instead./

Despite everything, Jimmy was having the time of his life.

And Despite everything, so was Cisco. One of the Shazam kids, or as he called himself, Captain Marvel, had apparently powered down at one point in front of Andy for who knew what reason, and Cisco saw the aftermath. Andy looked at the kid the way people looked at religion or sunsets. He looked like someone actually, totally, and completely bowled over in a spiritual awakening, or in love. 

It was odd, though, watching his adoptive sixteen year old son mooning after an apparent 30 year old man (Although the kid was actually 17, so this was just weird).

Barry touched his arm as Cisco cradled baby Barlow. 

“You good?” He asked softly, and Cisco nodded. 

“I’m great.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Lex were both gonna be in this. But then where I was gonna put them didn't fit. Not exactly sure where I'll put them, to be honest, but in case I never do; Lena and Harley were good friends, Lena was raised by Jewish foster parents, Lex is a smarmy asshole who brought her to live with him and their mom when their father died under sketchy circumstances. Lena sort of acts as older sister to Barry, and even when he was eyeball deep in villainy they kept their holidays together. Lena is also really super doting adoptive aunt to baby Barlow. She was first gonna show up chapter 4 when Orm was introduced. Then I scooted her to chapter six to bicker with Lex and Lex was gonna be in an argument with Matches. Generally speaking, this is the fourth draft of this chapter and I like it better even if not much goes on.
> 
> -
> 
> Also, the Harley mentioned-She's the particular creation of CampionSayn.


End file.
